One word at a time

Mt. Cook on the South Island of New Zealand, by Heather Zuber-Harshman

Mt. Cook on the South Island of New Zealand, by Heather Zuber-Harshman

Put on your new nature, and be renewed as you learn to know your Creator and become like him.

Colossians 3:10 NLT

If you were to describe Jesus in three words, what words would you select?  I would describe him as patient, compassionate, and understanding. Those words jumped to the forefront of my mind because they are three words that don’t consistently describe me.

A new year means fresh starts, so I see this month as an opportunity to pick one of my three words to work on. I choose patience. defines patience as “the bearing of provocation, annoyance, misfortune, or pain, without complaint, loss of temper, irritation, or the like.” Hmm. . . quite an all-encompassing word, huh? There’s nothing like starting big.

I vow that this month I will 1) not grumble and leak steam from my ears when I get stopped by a series of red lights, 2) smile and say a prayer each time my 12 week old son has a mega crying session, 3) stop looking at the clock so much when it’s family time in the evenings, 4) suck in three deep breaths if someone is taking longer to explain something than I think is necessary, and 5) not get grumpy when the person in front of me at the grocery store has a million coupons, doesn’t start writing out his/her check until the total is displayed, and disputes some of the charges.  Phew.  I’ll be busy.

Do you need to work on one or more of the words you used to describe Jesus? Which one will be your focus for the remainder of this month?


Bill’s Bait Shop and Bakery

When I arrived at a gym to teach a fitness class last week my gaze wandered to a nearby building that I’ve seen dozens of

by Heather Harshman

times.  Never before had I noticed the business name; I would definitely have recalled it if I had – Hal’s Sport Shop and Embroidery.  I pictured bins of needlepoint patterns and thread interspersed with jock straps, soccer balls, and cleats.  That’s so not right.  Although it is entirely likely that the embroidery portion refers to designs on clothing, pretend just for a moment that it instead refers to needlepoint.  Imagine the conversation that would have taken place when the husband and wife owners discussed opening this shop.

The wife decided to broach the topic one night over dinner.  “I enjoy doing embroidery so much, it would be wonderful if I could open an embroidery store to share my passion with others.”

“Do you really think that kind of store could succeed?” the husband asked.

“I could add fabric and ribbons, too.”

“What about sports equipment?”

“What are you talking about?  Embroidery isn’t sporty at all.”

“Think of it as a lady’s sport.  And we could complement it with men’s sports stuff.”

“Why on earth would I want to do that?” she asked, rolling her eyes as she scooped another load of potatoes onto her plate.

“Because it makes sense to draw both men and women to the store to get more business.”

“I could add knitting materials,” she said, nodding as the concept developed in her mind.  “Knitting is the new manly thing to do, you know.  It proves that a man is confident in his sexuality.”

“I think sporting equipment would prove it better,” the husband responded, puffing his chest out.

“You aren’t going to drop this, are you?”

“How long have we been married?” He stared at her with a smirk, awaiting a response.

She refolded the embroidered napkin on her lap then sighed as her right finger traced the outline of a delicately stitched Toucan.  “Too long.”  Raising her eyes to meet his, she said, “Fine. Have it your way, but I draw the line at embroidering jock straps.”

from Google Images

This silly stream of thought got me contemplating other ideas for wacky business names.  The title of this story was one I developed.  Here are a few others:

  • – Felix’s Foot Products and Tea Shop
  • – Bullafarht & Sons Gatrointestinal Physicians
  • – Furry Friends Pets and Bikini Waxing
  • – Sally Sue Yoo’s Counseling Services

What bizarre business names have you seen? Why not come up with some of your own and share them in the comment section for others to enjoy?

It’s all in a Word

Funny sign from Google Images

Have you ever wondered what it would be like to be the person at a company who is in charge of designing and ordering signs?  I have.  In fact, I’ve often wondered how many grammar and punctuation books I would need to read before being confident with my first sign order.  I’ve also contemplated whether clever humor in my signs would be lost on the average person.

My mysterious desire to design placards makes me a connoisseur of them.  Once on our way back from Julian (a mountain town outside of San Diego) I noticed a sign on a store that said, “Closed, darn it.”  I instantly vowed to return one day when the store is open to thank the owner for entertaining me and to purchase something to reward his/her creativity.

What original, strange, or humorous signs have you seen?