Bill’s Bait Shop and Bakery

When I arrived at a gym to teach a fitness class last week my gaze wandered to a nearby building that I’ve seen dozens of

by Heather Harshman

times.  Never before had I noticed the business name; I would definitely have recalled it if I had – Hal’s Sport Shop and Embroidery.  I pictured bins of needlepoint patterns and thread interspersed with jock straps, soccer balls, and cleats.  That’s so not right.  Although it is entirely likely that the embroidery portion refers to designs on clothing, pretend just for a moment that it instead refers to needlepoint.  Imagine the conversation that would have taken place when the husband and wife owners discussed opening this shop.

The wife decided to broach the topic one night over dinner.  “I enjoy doing embroidery so much, it would be wonderful if I could open an embroidery store to share my passion with others.”

“Do you really think that kind of store could succeed?” the husband asked.

“I could add fabric and ribbons, too.”

“What about sports equipment?”

“What are you talking about?  Embroidery isn’t sporty at all.”

“Think of it as a lady’s sport.  And we could complement it with men’s sports stuff.”

“Why on earth would I want to do that?” she asked, rolling her eyes as she scooped another load of potatoes onto her plate.

“Because it makes sense to draw both men and women to the store to get more business.”

“I could add knitting materials,” she said, nodding as the concept developed in her mind.  “Knitting is the new manly thing to do, you know.  It proves that a man is confident in his sexuality.”

“I think sporting equipment would prove it better,” the husband responded, puffing his chest out.

“You aren’t going to drop this, are you?”

“How long have we been married?” He stared at her with a smirk, awaiting a response.

She refolded the embroidered napkin on her lap then sighed as her right finger traced the outline of a delicately stitched Toucan.  “Too long.”  Raising her eyes to meet his, she said, “Fine. Have it your way, but I draw the line at embroidering jock straps.”

from Google Images

This silly stream of thought got me contemplating other ideas for wacky business names.  The title of this story was one I developed.  Here are a few others:

  • – Felix’s Foot Products and Tea Shop
  • – Bullafarht & Sons Gatrointestinal Physicians
  • – Furry Friends Pets and Bikini Waxing
  • – Sally Sue Yoo’s Counseling Services

What bizarre business names have you seen? Why not come up with some of your own and share them in the comment section for others to enjoy?

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